Is it OK to cry at work?

Why do we spend so much time trying to stifle or stigmatize coworkers that are upset? "You're too emotional." "You're overreacting." "No need to get upset over this." "Calm down." Stifling someone in these ways says, "You're inconveniencing me." What if we instead bring our empathy to these situations?

Empathy starts with a mindset shift by reframing the situation. Your coworker is not overreacting, just reacting. They are not too emotional – they're just not afraid to be vulnerable. And they probably don't need to calm down – they need time to process.

This article from Business Insider, 3 myths about being sensitive and showing emotion in the workplace, has some really good gems about emotional intelligence in the workplace. For instance:

"Your emotions are messengers. They give you important information about our needs or actions we can take. They are signals that indicate what's important to you. They're a valuable source of intelligence and insight."

It's ok for humans to have emotions – even at work. It shows how invested they are in what they're doing. It shows they have psychological safety, that they feel OK being vulnerable. When a coworker does get "emotional," it takes little effort to validate those emotions – even if you don't agree with why someone is upset.

Next time someone is upset at work, consider might happen if you try validating their feelings. You don't even have to agree, or even make a fuss or coddle them. Just let them sit with it for a moment. Here's a few simple suggestions:

"Hey, it's ok to cry. You've got a lot going on."
"I can see that upset you. Do you want to take a breather?"
"I can tell you're really invested..."
"I hear you. I understand this is hard for you."

Then you can redirect into something positive, or redirect back toward completing the task.

So, to answer the question, “Is it OK to cry at work?” The answer is yes, with the caveat that you have to have built a psychologically safe workplace. And that’s something that should be embedded in your workplace culture. Is it part of yours?